INTENTION

An apprehension of the Human experience to re-establish an Ego (My sense-of-self).

Aspects from the mind of an adoptee- Dissecting a perspective while working through old trauma & confronting issues with abandonment.

A trek (in a sense) through night & day for reconciliation with the past. In a place where oblivion is no longer an option & transparency seems like all that's left in order to become.

Originally intended to document a 1,400 mile walk to the west coast. Asked by those who keep a disconnect from any social media platform. Slowly this has morphed into something a bit more profound— Something I have yet to understand well enough to articulate simply.

You’re welcome to join me on this (quite intimate) journey of understanding.

INFORMATION

Thirty-five years & counting. Adopted at birth in Santa Ana, CA.

Prior to my 1,400 mile trek I made a decision to purchase a DNA test. Thirty-one years old at the time, without knowing/having any clear information of my roots…where I came from…the basic essence of who l am. To be honest—I thoroughly enjoyed that mystery. It made me feel interesting or strangely worthwhile. At the same time, I still had questions. Some I intuitively knew the answer to. Some were a bit more profound— Like why my birth mother never held me…never touched me. Yet later on made a decision in attempting to take advantage of the “six month window period”. In adoption —this is where legally, a mother can change their mind. It’s like escrow with babies. Although she never followed through. With that said, it took about six months after purchasing the DNA kit to finally swab my mouth and send it off.

Ironically, these results would be far more interesting than the mystery of it all. Immediately connecting with three biological siblings. Later informed that there is eight of us in total. Our birth mother passed away six or seven years after my birth. My biological father? (Assuming he's a match to the two siblings that followed immediately after me) also passed away —Over a decade ago.

Turns out... I'm Irish. This may explain my Irish goodbyes and bring significance to my name. I owe the darker features in my physiology to my Native American descendants.

I, being the only one put up for adoption while all seven siblings were eventually taken by CPS.

& So it begins.